I grabbed this off one of my favorite Caps sites: RockTheRed.net. Written by blogger: Krafty. Even if you aren't a Capitals fan, this is kind of funny..enjoy!
"Well not THE Anaheim Ducks, but the Mighty Ducks of yesteryear. We all know that everyone (yes, even you) owned a copy of one of these movies – complete with the large plastic VHS packaging. Here within the confines of RTR it’s safe to admit you cheered for these kids time after time (okay, okay- everytime) you watched it. You might even be able to trace your love for hockey back to Gordon Bombay and company.
Over the holiday, when only reruns were to be found on TV, I managed to find one of these movies on some obscure channel I’m sure I will never watch again (read: Disney Channel). I found myself attempting to explain the play of certain members of the Capitals’ squad through the characters in these movies to a friend who is not up-to-date with the sport. Here is what I was able to come up with:
Lester Averman: Has the ability to contribute on the ice, but is often injured. A fan favorite. Known to be a jokester.
Capitals Counterpart- Quintin Laing: Torn spleen, broken jaw, swine flu…Laing has run the gamut of injuries. He’s also an overwhelming fan favorite for his dedication to the game, and isn’t afraid to do whatever it takes to help his team. Also, I’m sure holding a conversation or going out to dinner with Laing while his jaw was wired shut was a riot to the other member of the squad.
Julie “The Cat” Gaffney: Quick on her skates, she is the team’s second goalkeeper although she is the better of the two team goalies. Her miracle saves are the reason the Ducks won their final games.
Capitals Counterpart- Semyon Varlamov: Anyone that followed the Caps through last year’s playoffs should know the story of Varly’s journey. Here are the cliff notes if you recently have been diagnosed with amnesia (but thank you for remembering to read RTR): Theo stinks. Varly comes in. Sick save. Sick save. Sick save. Repeat until this happens. Lose mind. The comparisons are almost an exact match, down to sharing the same haircut.
Dwayne Robertson: Ranch handler that is an absurd puck-handler. Has a tendency to show-off and embraces his southern vernacular.
Capitals Counterpart- Alexander Semin: We all know Semin turns it on when he wants to. All too often makes incredible open ice moves, only to let the last defender trip him up. That and Semin still uses an interpreter because no one can understand what the hell he’s saying.
Ken Wu: Former Olympic figure skater who bedazzles opponents with his acrobatic, stylistic techniques setting up scoring opportunities. Dubbed by Fulton and Portman as “Little Bash Brother.”
Capitals Counterpart- Matt Bradley: No RTR doesn’t see any color, if that’s what you were thinking. If anyone has seen Bradley’s footwork in front of the crease, you should take note. Isn’t he also the “Little Bash Brother’? Yeah, we thought so.
Guy Germaine: A role model for the Ducks on the ice, and is a great all around player. In a relationship with Connie Moreau.
Capitals Counterpart- Brooks Laich: Brooks also has a “unique” first name, and is also involved in his own relationship with one of his teammates, Mike Green. Much like Guy, Laich is a very versatile player that can do it all and a great heads up player. He just has a little better taste in clothing.
Connie Moreau: Recurring, independent female team player of the Ducks. She and teammates Guy Germaine have a relationship. In the first movie, Averman refers to her as “the velvet hammer.”
Capitals Counterpart- Mike Green: We kinda spilled the beans a bit earlier when we broke down Guy. If you’ve seen his site, you know he spends as much time in the bathroom as a girl. You also know about his bromance with Laich. You might not know about his nickname also being “the velvet hammer,” but you do now. We made that last one up.
Dean Portman: gives the Ducks a physical presence on the ice. He is close friends with fellow enforcer Fulton Reed and one half of the “Bash Brothers.”
Capitals Counterpart- John Erskine: Although not a true “enforcer”, Erskine still holds court on the ice. He’s like the parent that shows up, and the misbehaving kids scatter quicker than bees in a rain storm.
Fulton Reed: Has a powerful, but inaccurate slap-shot. Shy and reserved, but not afraid to get physical as the other half of the “Bash Brothers”.
Capitals Counterpart- Jason Chimera: Fulton’s description is as accurate as it gets for a counterpart. 8 goals on the season, we don’t know too much about the quiet new comer, and supposedly physical.
(Krissy Here: The Theodore comparison is the only one I didn't agree with!)
Greg Goldberg: The weaker and less skilled goalie than Julie Gaffney, Goldberg is known for his flatulence.
Capitals Counterpart- Jose Theodore: Less skilled than your backup, check. Stinks in goal, check.
Adam Banks: A talented and skilled player who joins the Ducks mid-season. Slowly gains the respect and loyalty of his new teammates, but is oft injured.
Capitals Counterpart- Mike Knuble: I had a hard time likening Knuble to Banks, but as a recent addition to the Capitals he seemed to fit. They have the same nose, and he also recently returned to the ice after recovering from his pinky problems. That, and “Knuble” lends itself to fun nicknames like Banks’ “cake-eater.”
Russ Tyler: The token black guy that used his knuckle-puck to freeze defenders in their path. Always outgoing, he challenged the team to play “for real” and up to their abilities.
Capitals Counterpart- Nicklas Backstrom: The comparison here is two fold. The first is drawn because of their lethal shot- although it is doubtful that kids are attempting the “Back Attack” or any other form of Nicky’s offense the same way that youth hockey was captivated by the “knuckle puck” back in the day (Speaking of.. why WAS it called a knuckle puck anyway? Bueller?). The second comparison is because much like Russ was the only African American member by D3, Backstrom is the only Swedish member of the Capitals squad.
Charlie Conway: The leader, heart and soul of the team. Extremely loyal to the Ducks and to his coach, possessing the greatest leadership qualities among his teammates.
Capitals Counterpart- Alexander Ovechkin: Ovie is the counterpart of two characters of this series because, well, he is twice the man anyway. Although there have been claims of recklessness, the Great Eight can be seen zipping from point to point to make a play. AO is also not afraid to hit, having a surplus of 30 hits over the second ranked hitting Capital. As for the recap of Charlie, the exact phrases can be used to describe Ovechkin. Except for the Ducks part. Visualize it says Caps.
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